Many people are phobic, paranoid, and inhibited about the one need for happy survival that requires trusting another person.
If you’ve ever wondered why we have such a problem with addiction, crime and delinquency, here is where Daniel Casriel believes it begins.
Emotionally turned off people, like dead people, cannot sustain an emotionally pleasurable relationship. All things considered, like dead people, they do not hurt too much; emotionally, that is. They usually end up getting high blood pressure and coronaries. You can fool your mate. You can fool yourself. But you cannot fool mother nature.
A starving person is not hungry, even though he is starving. If one has not eaten in four or five days one feels very hungry. After four or five days of starvation, the pangs of hunger cease. The person continues to starve without hunger. Many people are starving for bonding, but have no symptoms. They do not understand why their intimate human relationships have so little pleasure. Many do not understand why they are so bored with their marriage. Many do not understand what their mates are complaining about.
Pain and pleasure in association to our biological needs are not only based on the quality of the need, but also on the quantity of those needs. Too much of the same thing or not enough can cause pain.
If we and our intimate loved ones are in basic good health, have financial security, and nobody is threatening our lives, or breaking down the doors, we should, by nature, feel happy, but we are not.