Happiness takes more than knowledge

“If you want to prevent problems for yourself, do not put anyone else above or below yourself.”

About 20 percent of the population cannot contain their feelings. The leaking feelings proceed to mess up their functioning and life. These people are labeled neurotic. They need a process or guide to help clean out pipes that are stuffed up and clogged with dried out feelings. That prevents people from emotionally expressing themselves even when the situation calls for it.

About 80 percent of the population cannot express their feelings even if their life or happiness depends upon it. Their absence of feelings turns people off and away from them. These people are labeled character disordered. They need a guide to help get your waters of life forces moving in the direction of happiness.

Since childhood we have been forced by conditioning to put people above us; mommy, daddy, grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles, clergy, teachers, and doctors. We end up trying to balance the scale by putting our younger siblings, smaller children, animals, and anyone else we could find, below us. Many of us continue to maintain this unfair, invalid, wasteful time and energy consuming, castrating system all our lives.

If you want to prevent problems for yourself, do not put anyone else above or below yourself. Neurotics have few, if any, peers. They place people above them or below them. People are either too good or not good enough for them. A guide is your peer. As such you can identify with a guide and even learn from their mistakes and successes.

Though I am a doctor, an M.D., I have no medicine that will “cure” you, or get you “well”. Knowledge will help you feel better. That is valid. But you need more than knowledge. You need the experience.

Written by Daniel Casriel, MD

Daniel Harold Casriel, M.D., born in New York City on March 1, 1924, was an American psychiatrist, psychoanalyst and writer. He was a past president of the American Society of Psychoanalytic Physicians. He founded the Daytop treatment centers. Casriel died on June 7, 1983 at the age of 59 from a form of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS). After graduation from the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine at age twenty-five, Casriel began his residency at the Kingsbridge Veterans' Administration Hospital. Less than a year into his residency, he was drafted and sent to Okinawa where he served as an Army psychiatrist. Beyond shaping the field of addictions treatment and psychotherapy, Casriel profoundly influenced the launch of relationship education. His intensive couples workshops for Lori Heyman Gordon's Family Relations Institute in Northern Virginia provided the framework for what emerged into the range of PAIRS' relationship education seminars and trainings that have touched millions of lives. Casriel popularized the theory that the "emotion of love" comes from the anticipation of pleasure. Based on Casriel's theory, "bonding," which he defined as "the unique combination of emotional openness and physical closeness with another human being," is central to sustaining healthy, intimate relationships. Casriel taught that symptoms of bonding deprivation include: "illness, fatigue, depression, rigidity, constriction, isolation, and the range of anti-social behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse, gambling and sex addictions." Casriel considered bonding a biologically-based need similar to the need for food, water, air, and shelter, yet unique as the only biological need people cannot meet for themselves.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: